Sunday, January 1, 2017

Not Good Enough

It's been a year almost to the day that I sailed Bohemian up from Pittwater and I am ashamed to admit that we haven't been to sea since. I've only had a handful of day-sails as well. That upsets me, what's more is that unless I male changes, nothing else will.

Excuses? Caring for my ageing mother, home schooling my children, being full time parents, homemaker and being keen on DIY to save money. But a throwaway line in a book I am reading ("Time on the Ocean" Theo Dorgan), pricked me from my social slumber: "Compromise is Surrender".

We humans, complex creatures, we give our own unique meanings to  words.  I'm no different, being human  and all. The way   see it, if  I keep prioritising other people's needs, they'll only want more, and my "dream" of sailing offshore is being washed away.

Years ago, in my twenties,  I built a sail boat the  sailed her fulltime on  board for over a year. I had fallen into the tea  of thinking that life was easier then, no dependents, no ailing mother and so on. But my life was busy then,   had responsibilities in relationships, to a  employer, and my studies. What was different is that building and ultimately cruising on that boat was my top priority. Eve  at the time, it struck me how focussed I was I  snatching hours away from life's many distractions to  work on Nikita. I was simply more committed, no  compromises were made, the boat came first. Sure I attended work, studied, did stuff  I had to do, but once they were addressed, to was onto the boat  When she was ready, I shoved my job and told everyone sayonara. Oh for a teaspoon of that courage now.

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